Rotisserie Chicken for Thanksgiving

How do you feel about this? Would my guests hate it?

I just had some store bought rotisserie chicken this weekend, and it was soooooo good!

Tender, juicy, and plenty of meat. I think it would be perfect at a Thanksgiving table, with some brown gravy, ham, stuffing, green beans, mashed potatoes, yams, and cranberry sauce.

I'm just worried that people will "freak out" at not having a turkey at Thanksgiving. You know how weird people can get, about their traditions.

Perhaps four rotisserie chickens should do the trick? I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

If you put rotisserie chicken on the Thanksgiving table, your guests should all get up and walk out.

Frankly, I'd rather tuck into the rotisserie chicken.

I wouldn't have a problem with it, OP, but then I've been properly raised and would never trash the food being served by someone who had invited me to dinner.

Make delicious hashish gravy. Your party will be memorable.

Here's the solution, OP. Give them a choice of chicken or ham. You have to actually make the ham, no canned shit.

Thanksgiving these days is not about the food. It's about the tradition, then the food.

If your guests don't care about having a traditional meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and such, then the chicken is fine.

I have become much more in favor of ham over turkey since it's pretty much the only time I ever have ham.

I'd be happy with it OP. The holiday is about being thankful. I'd be thankful to have a friend who feeds me.

[quote] Give them a choice of chicken or ham. You have to actually make the ham, no canned shit.

The ham is usually a Farmer John's spiral ham, which just needs to be heated.

Does that make it "canned?"

Honestly, between the ham and the rotisserie chicken, it would be the easiest Thanksgiving dinner ever.

OP, that sounds delightful. Seriously, I’m not a turkey fan, so Rotisserie chicken is a great replacement.

Are you serving the homeless at the local soup kitchen. OP?

OP, if you feel shy about the rotisserie chicken part (don't be--it's moist, tasty and easy!), many local markets offer Thanksgiving dinners already made. All you have to do is heat up the bird and sides. Takes all of the stress off. Even big chain supermarkets do it, but the quality isn't as good. You can also order the cooked bird just on its own, and make the sides yourself, or potluck that part, or perhaps both.

I wish there was such a thing as rotisserie turkey. I would eat more. Cooking it is such a pain in the ass.

I would not serve a store-bought rotisserie chicken for Thanksgiving. That's plain depressing.

OP, what else are you planning to serve? If you make a home-made ham, like R5 suggests, you might be able to balance things out. However, if you are serving salad from a bag with store-bought croutons and a Costco pumpkin pie, don't do it.

People are saying it's not about the food, but it is about the food.

I don't know OP. If your having guests I would try to find a small turkey or turkey breast. If it were just two or three people, rotisserie chicken is cool.

Rotisserie chicken from a grocery store isn't exactly 'special'. You can pre-order cooked turkeys if you don't want to do that - or buy several pounds of sliced turkey instead (not luncheon meat).

Everyone's had the rotisserie chickens - and they taste good because they're pumped up with saline and other chemicals.

My family has purchased the Whole Foods T-giving dinner the past few years and it has been a stress-free day. Nobody cares if you cook it yourself. And cleanup is super easy.

I like the taste of turkey and make smothered turkey wings occasionally.

Is this for real? Your partner should pick up the rotisserie chicken and slap you viciously with it !!! Why host a half assed dinner ???

R10 this is OP serving the homeless. We love your apron, OP.

If it's a matter of not wanting to cook, many of the same stores will sell turkey for you that they make/heat.

I myself am a fan of having variety at the holidays - ham/turkey/chicken/roast beef. Two of those, at least.

I would think OP is being cheap and would talk about him behind his back every year after

Good idea above. Just serve sliced turkey lunch meat. Probably could heat up a can of brown gravy and open a can of that jellied cranberry loaf.

OP, I take it that you have a rotisserie in your home and you will be cooking these four chickens on it.

Is that not correct?

Why not order in pizza? Everyone loves pizza.

[quote] OP, I take it that you have a rotisserie in your home and you will be cooking these four chickens on it.

Nope. Store bought. It would have to be.

Anyway, the point that I was trying to make is that rotisserie chicken just tastes better.

As I said, it's moist, juicy and tender. Something that roasted turkey - no matter how much you brine or butter it - is not. Turkey is just almost always dry.

The rotisserie chicken is just better, and I think that people would enjoy it more than some dry and flaky turkey.

I am not a cook, but I am a lazy bitch, so I once ordered Thanksgiving dinner from Boston Market. I thought the bird and the sides were delicious. Plus the store manager helped me carry all this stuff out to my car.

I wouldn't be unhappy about it OP - but here is the deal. You can have rotisserie chicken any day of the week throughout the year - it's just not special. Thanksgiving is the day to serve turkey so just go with it.

Turkey or nothing at all!

OP The thing is about Thanksgiving is that it’s supposed to be a special meal. Not just a nice version of an everyday meal, which is why we eat some dishes that we don’t eat at any other time of the year. It’s symbolic. Rotisserie chicken just isn’t very symbolic.

You could do Cornish Hens instead. They are small like chickens and you can stuff them like a turkey. Your guests will be delighted. The suggestion of offering him as well is a smart way to go. I now have friends who also offer a vegetable lasagna. Everything on this list as great as leftovers and also freeze as well. Good luck!!

OP, when my family downsized, we started having Purdue Oven-Stuffer Roasters. They are like the Michael Clarke Duncan of chickens and serve a large number. They’re easy to cook, delicious, and better than turkey. I would recommend that.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with bringing-in a fully cooked meal, but ideally, the meal preparation is something the whole family participates in, or meddles in, maybe, and turns a chore into a team building exercise.

That’s how we do it, anyway.

[quote] it's just not special. Thanksgiving is the day to serve turkey so just go with it

[quote] The thing is about Thanksgiving is that it’s supposed to be a special meal.

Reading through this thread, I'm starting to get it. Which is why I'm glad I asked the quesion.

I guess it'll have to be turkey. I just wish that I could make it as scrumptious as the rotisserie chicken.

Thanks for the input.

Compromise and serve turkey meatballs.

[quote]Darfur O.

It says a lot about OP when our starving Darfur orphan has better etiquette. He could understandably throw manners aside but our dearest orphan is too proud.

We roast a chicken, but I make stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables and the traditional trimmings, including homemade pumpkin pie. I wouldn't do rotisserie (although I admit they're tasty) as the salt content is off the charts and you can't cook the stuffing in it. It's a small gathering, so a turkey is just overkill.

Yeah, I think it is an Italian tradition to prepare a lasagna in addition to a turkey and/or ham.

In the 1970s, my family started having sauerbraten, potato balls, and red cabbage with other side dishes for Easter/Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners. Both my parents were half German. My suspicion is that this was an old family tradition that was stopped during WWI or maybe WWII, in favor of an all-American Norman Rockwell turkey dinner, as a defensive, patriotic measure. Finally, by the 1970s they could be German again.

It was a joint project making the potato balls because it’s not easy to do. They fall apart easily and our electric stove couldn’t get hot enough, I think. But there were times when they came out perfectly and it felt like we had planted the family flag on top of the Reichstag.

My brother in law, who is a jackass, btw, got very fussy about not having a turkey on thanksgiving. He should be institutionalized, IMHO, but that’s another story.

R35 We make dumplings (potato balls) too, but we buy ours from a mix. It's covered with gravy and is still delicious either way.

[quote] Compromise and serve turkey meatballs

How about rotisserie chicken ramen?

Thanksgiving is for TURKEY, any less is WRONG.

The one exception is if everyone agrees they don't want Turkey. Then you serve White Castle

Serve the rotisserie chicken in a salad.

Problem solved!

Wheel THIS baby out, and it'll be a SHOW STOPPER!

You want special? Here's special!

My brother in law now insists on prime rib for Christmas dinner. I despise prime rib. It’s full of fat and gristle, and is more than 50% useless. I think it’s named “prime rib” like they name housing projects things like “Morningside Heights” - completely as a slick PR matter. Maybe my sister buys cheap cuts, I don’t know. My bro in law is really status conscious and I thinks it’s the best meal one could ever eat. Personally, I’d prefer a good hamburger or almost anything else.

I’m venting here, but of course I never say a complaining word to them as their guest.

Prime rib is not my favorite, either, but it shouldn't be 50% useless. I always ask for the end pieces that have all the salt and pepper.

I make a turkey for my guests, but I'm not a fan of turkey, (nasty dried out breast happens so easily, dark meat full of sinews), so I always make roast duck for myself on Thanksgiving, using DL favorite Ina Garten's recipe. It's easy, fool-proof, absolutely delicious, and you can make fancy soups for a month afterwards with all the leftover broth.

After looking at some of the above pics, perhaps one can stuff a chicken into the turkey.

I'm not a fan of turkey. I enjoy most of the sides but take very little turkey. However I think I'd burst out laughing if I went to Thanksgiving at someone's house and there on the table sat a chicken.

OP, tell your guests in advance about the chicken stand-in so they have time to make other arrangements, or know to call you on thanksgiving morning and tell you they are “cough” sick.

OP, would you consider making a bone in (so much more flavorful with bone) turkey breast? So much easier and quicker than a whole turkey and you'll have the leftovers for sandwiches and such for the following days. Your guests can have supermarket rotisserie chicken any day of the year.

Ina Garten's recipe is what I use, foolproof.

[quote] My brother in law now insists on prime rib for Christmas dinner

My dad does, as well.

We all love it, and he buys the best cuts.

Not sure where your BIL is getting his cheap stuff, but ours is a really good quality.

[quote] perhaps one can stuff a chicken into the turkey. —Darfur O.

It's already been done, Darfie. It's called a Turducken.

Get with the program!

I was amazed when I saw my first turducken. How they get them to interbreed is a great mystery of science that only an American could invent.

"You could do Cornish Hens instead. They are small like chickens and you can stuff them like a turkey.

FC: So what is this thing anway?

GC: Its a Cornish Game hen.

FC: What is that? Like a little chicken?

GC: it's a game bird.

FC: Whaddya mean game bird? Like ya hunt it? How hard can it be to kill that thing.

I know it's hypocritical, but I don't eat turkey anymore after some online clip how terrible these poor creatures are being treated at turkey farms. But yeah, I'm ok eating chicken, beef, and pork. I wish I could go vegetarian (or full on vegan since cow milk based cheeses don't respond well with my digestive system for some reason - lactose intolerant?), but after a day of not eating meat I practically binge eat meaty dishes.

Since I have no relatives nearby and don't do the holiday trip thing I am alone at home and do some basic stew dishes for the holiday seasons (Thanksgiving and Christmas).

Don’t do rotisserie chicken, it makes you look like a cheap idiot. You think you’re being oh-so-clever, but everyone can see through your shit. Every grocery store and plenty of restaurants offer fully cooked turkeys and sides for the big day.

Second, take this following advice and tattoo it onto your brain: NEVER deviate from standard food traditions when it comes to holidays or weddings. Your ideas are not cool, not fun and only serve to annoy. You can have your rotisserie chicken IN ADDITION to the turkey, but not chicken alone. You can have a macaron tree at your wedding but in addition to the cake. Get it?

Thanksgiving is just America’s pathetic attempt to give itself some historical relevance, because the reality is it doesn’t have any. Sad! x

OP fails to mention WHO his guests are. Family members, close friends, his card playing Bridge club? They will have expectations on their own depending on the invitation. And of course they will freak out if their basic expectations (aka a turkey dinner) are not met. Either tell them in advance, so they can come up with an excuse to bail on you or drop the chicken idea and go traditional.

Turkey is overrated. I live in L.A. and I've been to a several wonderful Turkey-less Thanksgiving dinners.

OP may as well just serve ramen noodle soup packets and BBQ wings!

[quote] OP may as well just serve ramen noodle soup packets and BBQ wings!

Or just serve them chicken skins and lobster shells!

R54, thems fightin’ words, Rhoda!

I would be very happy with an invitation to R43's dinner. I love duck, and have served it before for Thanksgiving. Not all were pleased though. I'm not particularly keen on turkey, most of it is dry, and not pleasing. I would prefer a great chicken to a bad or mediocre turkey.

OP, what you are searching for here is a capon. That would be the best possible solution. Roast a capon.

How about serving buttered white toast, popcorn and jelly beans? Just be prepared for Peppermint Patty to kick your ass.

R8, the difference is THOUSANDS of extra milligrams of sodium. Your guests will not apprentice waking up ten pounds heavier.

I like the leftover turkey for making turkey salad sandwiches (cubed turkey, light and dark meat, mixed with mayo, onion, celery, and S&P). For that reason alone, I would prefer a whole, cooked turkey.

However, for a small Thanksgiving gathering, I might like a turkey roulade (breast rolled and stuffed with stuffing).

a lot of people will be more interested in your sides and relishes.

If ur vegan u could serve a nutloaf shaped like a turkey!

R66 has stated (their) boundaries!!

R66 and R68 could get together and invite people for a Michfest themed Thanksgiving!

Who doesn't love a delicious Thanksgiving congee?

My family would run screaming from Thanksgiving dinner if they saw that slop, R70.

Turkey doesn't have to turn out dry. My mother's turkey was never dry, since I have been cooking for Thanksgiving and Christmas mine are never dry. My Aunt's turkey is as dry as the one on Christmas Vacation.

Turkey doesn't have to turn out dry. My mother's turkey was never dry, since I have been cooking for Thanksgiving and Christmas mine are never dry. My Aunt's turkey is as dry as the one on Christmas Vacation.

OP If you really want something different from just Turkey try making a 7 bird roast. You only need Turkey - Pheasant -Mallard - Partridge - Pigeon - Teal - Woodcock and about 4 spare hours to prepare it (another 3 hours to cook it).

Nothing screams "conformist douchebag" like obeisance to the American Thanksgiving Meal every November:

1. white meat turkey that's so dried out "so the dark meat cooks long enough."

2. Nasty ass "sweet" potatoes.

3. America's worst dessert that's not cheesecake, pumpkin pie.

4. Canned maroon gelee.

The only things worth eating are the stuffing and mashed potatoes.

I like your rotissed chix idea fine, OP. I'd be very happy if it were the main course where I eat.

I’m just jealous, R59 - we have sweet FA going on in November. Well, there’s Bonfire Night, but I’m not a fan of that because it frightens animals. I’m nice really. x

Your concerns are misplaced, OP. Your actual task could not be easier.

If you have a college or military base near you, you can contact them and ask if they have any students or servicemen who can’t travel home, or have no home to travel to, for the holiday, and invite them over for dinner. Best to invite a pair, I suppose.

We have the Coast Guard Academy near us, so cadets can pretty much be counted on to be about as refined as young people can be. There’s a naval base nearby, too, but that means enlisted hillbillies who were desperate to get out of West Dumbfuck, Kentucky, and may not be familiar with the concept of silverware. We have an elite liberal arts college, too.

In any event, it really mixes-up the dynamics of the evening and you’ll be talking about it, at least until next Thanksgiving.

We had an old geezer over one Xmas Eve, the year he was widowed, and we were so welcoming and treating him like family, that he started to cry. We all still talk about that one, and it was 15 years ago. (He had a son a few miles away. Where the fuck was he on Xmas Eve? I want to crank-call him, still, and shame him.)

[quote] If you have a college or military base near you, you can contact them and ask if they have any students or servicemen who can’t travel home, or have no home to travel to, for the holiday, and invite them over for dinner. Best to invite a pair, I suppose.

[quote] In any event, it really mixes-up the dynamics of the evening and you’ll be talking about it, at least until next Thanksgiving.

Plus, you might get lucky.

Store-bought rotisserie chicken is just so common, OP. Also, the chickens that are roasted in-store tend to be fresh chickens that were close to their expiration date. Impress your guests with elegant turkey in aspic instead!

R30 ---OP if you are going to do a turkey the easiest, don't have to check and baste and hope for the best way is to buy the huge roasting bag, put the washed and giblets removed from the cavity, salted and peppered turkey breast down in the bag in a big roasting pan. Pour in some cheap white wine, sage, rosemary, thyme, lemon slices and some chunks of butter. Add Carrots and some celery with leaves chopped in big chunks in there. Seal up the bag and bake. Turkey will cook much faster in the bag, pay attention to the timing. This turkey will fall off the bone and be so juicy. Pour off the liquid, strain and make gravy from it.

OP, if you’re good company, I’d be totally cool with your tasty chicken. I like turkey but it’s not that special.

About the only time she's actually given half-decent cooking advice. Holiday Birds by our own DL fave...

Even supermarkets have already cooked entire Thanksgiving meals and usually you just have to order it a few days ahead. I mean making all the sides is the hard part. It's not much more a big deal to cook a turkey than a chicken, just more time and I'll bet they do have Rotisserie turkeys out there somewhere, or at least the breast and it's really the breast meat everyone wants and they do sell already cooked turkey drumsticks. Unless it's just 2 or 3 people for the dinner you'd have to buy several chickens and yes, everyone would wake up with swollen fingers and or feet and legs the next day from all that sodium. Injecting high sodium liquid into the chicken is what makes Costco rotisserie chickens so good. I used to wonder why I felt like shit the day after eating some of the Costco chicken. They I read here on DL about the thing being full of sodium. I never bought it again.

Remember to keep the dogs away while it defrosts, and after cooking while it cools. We lost more than one bird that way. Sad!

OP, at this point all you have to "worry" about is reading the same fucking advice over and over in this thread. Most of which doesn't even address your concern to begin with.

To get things back to fun, see below for one of the best DL threads: Let's be a Lesbian Thanksgiving

What are you serving the vegans?

Why not just rent a van and take everyone to the drive-through at KFC?

[quote]What are you serving the vegans?

Other vegans, [italic]à rôti[/italic].

Just get a turkey breast, put fresh sage all over it, and bake it in the oven or cook it in the Instant Pot. So much easier than a whole turkey. Then you'll save yourself the embarrassment of having served a chicken at Thanksgiving.

ATK has a good recipe for turkey breast in a slow cooker.

I'm going to repeat r47's contribution of Ina's bone-in turkey recipe. I think it's the perfect compromise. The part I hate most about making a turkey (besides the fact that the American Thanksgiving Meal is boring AF) is having to deal with the different cooking times for dark and white meat.

[quote] What are you serving the vegans?

Vegans can go to hell.

If they don't like what they are served, then they can go eat somewhere else.

R66 I actually attended a vegan Thanksgiving once. The main dish was a chestnut loaf that they had tried to sort of decorate because it was the centerpiece but… Well…how does one decorate a chestnut loaf? What exactly is there to decorate? It’s a loaf.

There were a lot of bean-oriented side dishes and desserts if I recall correctly.

Wow r99, toilets must have been backed up that night

If you are not strapped for cash, OP, I think supermarket rotisserie chicken is tacky for this holiday.

You could buy 2 free range chickens, or 2 French farm chickens (red label, one of the golden colored birds), and roast them up yourself. Better meat, tastier, and a bit festive.

A game bird is defined as a bird that is up for anything.

I'm not a big fan of turkey myself, OP. A large chicken would be wonderful, maybe make a Thomas Keller chicken instead and do the traditional fixings, minus the canned cranberry blob and no sweet potatoes, please. Also no giblets. Ew.

I make my own cranberry sauce but just for myself when I'm alone I open up a can of Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce. There is something about that plop noise when it comes out of the can that I just love and have to hear once a month. I seldom finish the canned sauce but for me hearing that specific plop is worth it.

Homemade cranberry sauce is easy to make.

Boil cranberries in water, add sugar, orange juice, and orange zest. Cook until gelatinous.

Done.

[quote] Also no giblets. Ew.

Does anyone actually eat giblets?

I thought you're just supposed to throw them away.

Its very low brow if you ask me. Its like a vegan thanksgiving. Yes vegan and veggie cunts should not celebrate the holiday.

OP, you know you can buy an oven roasted turkey with sides? Check out your local markets and restaurants. I know. Rotisserie chickens are cheaper. But hunny, it's Thanksgiving. Now if your guests don't care about traditional turkey dinner, then WTF, go ahead. But it seems like you want it both ways.

Roasted TOFURKEY with vegetables!

Ha, R79. Aunt Mary is my friend Mandy's aunt. She's not completely wrong. OP, are you not into cooking? Because I get that. It may seem daunting, but a lot of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner can be made ahead and reheated. According to this link from Bon Appetit, a surefire way of doing things is to have your butcher break down the turkey before you cook it. It's supposed to cook much more evenly. This link has a lot of great sides too, but I'm sure you can find things a little easier. Cranberry sauce from scratch is the easiest thing in the world and tastes so much better, as someone above mentioned. With a little planning and forethought, you can do something a lot more memorable than a rotisserie chicken.

Ha, R79. Aunt Mary is my friend Mandy's aunt. She's not completely wrong. OP, are you not into cooking? Because I get that. It may seem daunting, but a lot of the traditional Thanksgiving dinner can be made ahead and reheated. According to this link from Bon Appetit, a surefire way of doing things is to have your butcher break down the turkey before you cook it. It's supposed to cook much more evenly. This link has a lot of great sides too, but I'm sure you can find things a little easier. Cranberry sauce from scratch is the easiest thing in the world and tastes so much better, as someone above mentioned. With a little planning and forethought, you can do something a lot more memorable than a rotisserie chicken.

Oops, fucked up the link.

The car service driver for a friend, asked him to pick up a Rotaserry chicken at ShopRite. My friend didn't correct him.

Stuffed cornish hens would be an interesting choice, their sweet and juicy.

OMG. That Bon Appetit menu linked above is heavenly.

Cornish hens are a bitch to eat.

If cooked properly, the meat falls off the bone easily. Delish!

One of my most memorable Thanksgiving meals was when we had turkey potstickers, homemade (including wrappers individually rolled out by hand) by an 86-year-old Taiwanese granny who was a family friend. That year we also had honey roasted ham, roasted turkey drumsticks, 2 types of potato gratin dishes, Japanese sweet potato tempura, grilled vegetables, and stirred fried Singapore rice noodle with prawns, pumpkin cheesecake and banana cream pie. Ever since then, I've not been a stickler for traditional Thanksgiving dinners.

Sorry, R119. That wasn't Thanksgiving.

I don't know what it was, but it wasn't even close to being a "Thanksgiving."

You're a monster, OP! A monster!

(You too, r75.)

People want homemade food for Thanksgiving, if you don't want to cook most grocery store will cook a full Thanksgiving dinner for you.

Giblets are delicious. You simmer them with onion in chicken broth with a little carrot and celery and bay leaf until tender, and slice them thinly with a little kosher salt sprinkled on, or else shred them up and put them in the gravy. I do agree they are not to everyone's liking. Some people are opposed to organ meat in any form or fashion.

Just give everyone a Golden Corral coupon and lock the door.

I made this last week. The turkey (breast) turned out really nice, but you end up with WAY too much gravy.

Darling: the point of serving thanksgiving is that your guests expect you to suffer for them. You must:

Present a full, multi course meal.

Haul out all the PROPERLY POLISHED silverware

Wine glass, water glass

Ironed cloth napkins

Festive table setting with decorations

Basically all the trappings

The ONE shortcut allowed is having someone else cook the food. But it still has to be Turkey, stuffing etc. You can lie even when confronted with empty takeout containers but we expect the illusion of a home made meal.

Find a bar-b-que joint. Order a smoked turkey breast. Problem solved.

Serious question.

Can you cook a turkey in a toaster oven?

What a silly question, R128. Of course, you can. Just set the toaster oven to broil for a nice juicy sear, and then turn down the heat. I find the dark toast setting works best.

Toaster ovens are hotter than regular ovens, R129.

Are there different cooking instructions for toaster ovens?

R125 Impossible. There’s no such thing as too much gravy.

"Giblets are delicious."

ORGAN meat is an aquired taste, and I have never, will never eat organ meat!

r125, that looks really good. I am going to try it with chicken breasts.

There’s already been a thread for this OP. Would it have killed you to have done a search first before you posted this? I mean really? It’s the least you could have done. Please try to have some consideration for others.

The There Has Been Another Thread troll is spamming all threads with this message. Muriel, please?

I absolutely LOVE rotisserie chicken. I would be happy to have it as a Thanksgiving meal - prefer it to turkey actually. Serve with some nice rosemary baked potatoes and tzatziki

r135, Agreed. He's so fkin insufferable.

Wouldn't the rotisserie chickens, and a pre-cooked turkey from the grocery store for that matter, get too dried out from reheating?

R135 it’s the “There’s already been a thread for this” troll. Get it right.

Maybe you shouldn't host Thanksgiving.

OP, you should re-create this scene for Thanksgiving...

I love the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where the mother, Marie, decides to do a healthy Thanksgiving and walks about with a tofu turkey, with fake legs attached to it, lol.

I agree about the vegans. I've seen hosts design the entire meal around one vegan guest.

If you're a vegan stay the fuck home!

That tofu turkey was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen! Unforgettable

🎵 Sticking my dick in rotisserie chickens ...🎵

Thank you R143! LOL!!!! I cracked up again just looking at that picture. I love it!!

Haha R147, it's even funnier to see the Tofurkey in motion!

Growing up with a Polish mother and German father we always did the turkey but with PA dutch potato "filling" (not stuffing), pa dutch dried corn, haluski, kapusta. So damned delicious but a shit ton of work

Do your friends deserve this?

I never heard of that before, R149.

After googling, it sounds delicious!

I think I might try it this year, because it doesn't look too time consuming.

Rofl R152.

That's usually how my turkeys end up.

If you don't like traditional roast turkey all that much, a smoked turkey is an excellent alternative. It's still necessary to heat it up, but requires much less effort and isn't as dry and flavorless as a typical Thanksgiving turkey. Otherwise, I recommend buying a Diestel turkey. I got one by accident a few years ago when I had actually put in an order for a smoked turkey, and the accident turned out much better than expected.

R120 Why isn't that a Thanksgiving meal? People here saying they had German or European-based dishes on Thanksgiving but no-one is saying how untraditional that is. Is it because the meal described had non-European dishes that's making it "not Thanksgiving"? People getting together giving thanks over a great meal to me is the definition of Thanksgiving. So if your sole definition of Thanksgiving meal is having dry turkey then I guess that's fine for you.

That is hysterical R148. I love all their reactions but Robert's reaction had me laughing so hard I got hiccoughs.

[quote]The suggestion of offering him as well is a smart way to go.

A Thanksgiving sacrifice—now that’s special!

Perhaps, given all the respondents recommending take out, it's time for me to trot out my (true) story about the time when my university department tried to make a festive occasion for all the students who couldn't travel home for the holidays and sponsored a big pot luck Thanksgiving dinner, with the department coughing up the money for the traditionals (turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing) from a local, reputable grocery store chain in the south. (Rhymes with Sublicks). I made and brought some sweet and sour style stir-fried vegetables (greens, red peppers, tofu, pineapple). The turkey was a bit picked over when I got to it, and didn't look appealing to me so I passed. Much later that night, I got a frantic phone call. "Was I feeling ok"? "Yes, never better" was my response. "Did you eat your own food"? "Yes, of course. Didn't have any turkey though". "Oh". Turned out 3/4 of the department got violent food poisoning and several students had to go to the hospital. The common denominator was not my innocent but unfamiliar vegetables but the turkey, which had either rested under the warming lights too long, or sat too long before it was sliced. Have never ordered a prepared Thanksgiving meal from that day until now.

R149, you've got your drag name!

Haluski Kapusta

You can't make gravy from rotisserie chickens.. I would be sorely disappointed to have Thanksgiving Dinner without gravy.

R151 the bread/egg version is the more "authentic" Lancaster County, PA version...but my dad made it without as a matter of personal preference.

I'd prefer a rotisserie chicken to turkey. Much more flavorful. The only problem is having the buy the chicken a day in advance if the store is closed on Thanksgiving.

How do you heat it up without drying it out?

I think the chicken would be great. Also, offer ham.

Just leave the chicken out on the table from the day before and invite only people you hate.

I would mind it if you still have all the traditional sides with it

R80 You had me at "invite over a pair of service men".

Turkey sucks....store bought chicken is chemical laden.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this... order a deep fried turkey! No way that's going to be dry, and you get lovely crisp skin all over.

I'm going to Costco tomorrow. I wonder if I should buy my Thanksgiving chicken while I'm there or better yet one of their things of chicken salad made from those chickens. No bother carving. I think I'll go to the food court and get one of their big hot dogs and I can cut it up into many small pieces...hor devours!!!

Personally, I'd be fine with the store bought chickens. Your guests should be grateful for whatever you serve, OP. I would let people know though and let them fucking bring a turkey over if they want it.

[quote]Plus, you might get lucky.

Poor r81, always looking for an angle. Can we for at least one day a year forego Tradional Everyday Cock?

[quote]How do you heat it up without drying it out?

You mean I cain't just serve it cold?

People will quietly feel that you've failed and then will go home and tell at least one other person I went to Thanksgiving dinner and he served rotisserie chicken.

Still enthralled by efficiency?

Order the Turkey Feast from Honeybaked ham online and have it mailed. It comes with all of the sides, including gravy, and you just have to heat it up. Just remember to thaw the turkey a few days ahead of time (You don't have to thaw the sides before cooking). Look for a coupon on retailmenot.com

If someone invites me over for a meal, I won't be criticizing the food.

A proper southern belle does NOT criticize what is served by her host and always sends a thoughtful thank you note the very next day.

For the life of me I don't understand why so many people insist on doing turkey. It's bland as hell.

Yes I know it's tradition, but the first Thanksgiving turkey was wild and probably a lot tastier than you buy today. Plus it's not like they had a lot of choice. Nothing says America, We Made It like hundreds of choices. You think those Mayflower bitches wouldn't have opted for Tex Mex if they had Instant Pots back then? Bullshit. You can do your Mexican rice, your refried beans, and your chicken taco meat all in the Instant Pot, or even a Crock Pot. Buy the taco shells, buy some chips, tell someone else to make queso. Mix up a few pitchers of Margaritas. Buy some pies or assign it to someone else. Done and fun.

Go ahead and poo-poo me for such blasphemy. You'll remember me in a couple weeks when you're eating a meal so blah that it's only saving grace is canned cranberries, (although I know some of you are going to say you harvest and preserve your own heirloom cranberries just for this special day). And stuffing. Those are the highlights, be honest. I'll be watching for you sanctimonious bitches on T-day, crying to DL from a locked bathroom in a strange house about the dry turkey or the gluten-free rolls served with pats of coconut oil because you didn't realize your hosts were nuts when you accepted the invitation, you just thought they must be good people just because they were serving turkey.

You sound insufferable, R181.

R181 there was not first Thanksgiving turkey...it was goose.

^^ Also venison and lobster.

You are then banned from Datalounge, forever R179. We have raised criticism to an art form.

R181 is insufferable. What a lecture.

r181 your menu would be perfect for a Superbowl party but I think most people would be sorely disappointed if they turned up to that on Thanksgiving.

We'll see who's insufferable on Thanksgiving Day.

R181, you own a Crock Pot?

I feel sorry for you and for anyone who gets served Crock Pot slop at your home.

The only really good thing about a turkey is that the stuffing (for those that do their stuffing inside the bird) tastes so much better than when it's dressing made on the side. Of course there is more a chance of food poisoning when you stuff the turkey.

I love the stuffing, the cranberry sauce, the candied yams, maybe some peas with onions, a dinner roll and gravy. The turkey can be left out, once the stuffing is removed, for all I care.

I wonder if someone made stuffing with no turkey being cooked at all and used good quality duck fat in the dressing if it would taste good or taste like stuffing made in the bird. Anyone ever try that?

I love it when my father-in-law invites me out to the garage for a smoke....

Here, OP. I'm sure that if you knew better, you would not make the grave mistake of rotisserie chicken.

Watch this. Learn.

Honeybaked Ham's best kept secret is Honeybaked Turkey. It's what you and your guests want.

R192 Loved that Turkey P.R. video. The growers put a LOT of money into marketing it and trying to make turkey a thing.

[quote]Loved that Turkey P.R. video. The growers put a LOT of money into marketing it and trying to make turkey a thing.

Turkey 365 days a year! Turkey in the summer! Turkey at your wedding reception! Turkey at Easter! Turkey! Turkey! Turkey!

[quote]Go ahead and poo-poo me for such blasphemy.

Oh, dear.

I'm gonna help you out even more. Honeybaked suggests serving their meat cold, which nobody wants with a bunch of piping hot sides. So wrap it up tightly with foil, but cut a hole in the bottom of the wrap only (like Prince's 1991 buttsuit) and reheat in the oven. The pan just needs to be big enough to hold your meat package. Put a little water or broth in the pan so it steams up through the hole into the meat. This also works very well with ham which usually dries in the oven into inedible sadness. If your pan has a small rack, use it to lift the meat out of the water, but it will be fine either way. Bon appetit!

Just use curly kale for what god intended, decoration, and put a butt load of it around the little chicken to bulk up the platter and maybe no one will notice.

That sounds like much of the DL’s opinion of pubic hair, r198

Whatever else you serve, OP, rotisserie chicken will make your guests think you didn't want to exert very much effort on their behalf. Thanksgiving is always a lot of work. As a struggling actress, a still-unknown Marilyn Monroe even had to shoot her own turkey.

If someone invited me to a Thanksgiving celebration and they explicitly said it will be an un-Thanksgiving then I would be OK with a rotisserie chicken being served. Otherwise I would be a bit surprised.

The Thanksgiving meal is supposed to be a ritual celebration of a past event - usually turkey is what served, but if I went to a Thanksgiving celebration where they served goose or lobster or venison or some combination that would also be consistent. And even though Mexican food is delicious I’m just not sure it would really match the meaning of the occasion.

I was watching Valerie Bertinelli's show this morning, and she deep fried her turkey in her kitchen, in an appliance specifically made for indoor deep-frying turkeys!

She put the whole damned 15 pound turkey in it, and it took her under an hour to cook it.

All she did was salt and pepper her turkey, stuck it in the basket, dunked it in the oil, and pulled it out an hour later.

Voila!

I hosted a Thanksgiving where I asked everyone to bring a dish from their ancestral country of origin. It was a big success and no one complained about not having a turkey. We had paella, braciole, chicken jambalaya, tamales. I should do that again.

Rotisserie chicken is disgusting. Really, OP, just serve a big platter of White Castles. They don't pretend to be better than they are.

Or, you could relent and roast a turkey and stuff it with White Castles.

R204 had been reading the Iowa Mom Recipe Blog again.

Anyway, everybody knows the White Castle Stuffing is only good with Pineapple Ham.

r202 I have one of those. Used it once. Messy, and the oil costs more than the turkey.

Outdoors or indoors, turkey fryers seem like accidents just waiting to happen.

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